This Week's Driving - Dec 25th ' 99 - Log 13

As we go into the by now over-hyped and absolutely boring new millenium, product of the inane fantasies of an increasingly larger number of travel agents facing extinction courtesy the cyberworld and cheaper travel sites on the net, it is but justice that probably the most boring looking car in the world is about to make its debut in India. And what a debut, too.

I like boring, in more ways than one. It sells. I don't like boring, in some other ways. Makes life worth living. Take a boring looking bread box, add large wheels and absolutely inexplicable huge headlamps in front. Mix with dull grey interiors grabbed by decorators trained in, say, the higher Northern latitudes in the winter. Manage to sell the most cars in a regimented country like, say, Nippon.

And bring to India after sticking about 62 horses below the bonnet and an active suspension that reminds you of a database going ballstic. The Maruti Suzuki Wagon-R, scheduled to be the most boringly high sale car in India. Now if they would only get the price right. Read out review, out before anybody else. She drives amazingly well, takes horrid corners like a cat and accelerates quite well, too, especially in the speeds between gears. But the price . . . anything not over 2.75 lakhs, we hope?

Should we prevent the import of second hand automobiles into India? Popular argument is that open import will destroy Indian industry. Which, otherwise, has every opportunity to cover itself with glory? Coming hot on the heels of the CII-banking fiasco, where a list of debtors to "sick" Indian public sector banks showed Indian industry occupying prime position, one wonders whether we as a people are just going to be taken for another ride? In an old liquid fuel internal combustion engined vehicle?

There are a few points that need to be raised here, and why not by us? Nobody else will, that's why.

The automobile industry is today high-tech, mostly in the hands of smaller independent design houses. The traditional manufacturers worldwide depend on such external design facilities, are not much more than assemblers.

New technology will only come to receptive places. The existing manufacturers need to continue selling their old junk somewhere. They will not bring new tech into India, nor will they like to let anybody else attempt to bring it in.

New technology has surprisingly low capital entry levels. It also evolves very fast. The fear that one of these may enter India through the second hand vehicle route has scared the pants of the traditional low tech assembler manufacturer we have in India. This is especially applicable for buses and trucks, where concepts have not changed in over half a century.

Most of all, new technology is more efficient and will not use the bad fuel we have got to accept. The fuel lobby is worried that second hand new tech vehicles will upset this apple cart, too. Witness how a succesful change to CNG is beng, for example, shot down!

The arguments can go on, meanwhile, watch carefully who takes whose side. Interesting lobbies . . .

We have received a letter from a Pakistani reader, asking us about Indian cars. Specifically, he informs us that Pakistan is about to see an entry by Daewoo with the Matiz and Hyundai with their Santro. Wonder if we will see Indian built cars going there, or whether these will be exports made in other countries?

This issue of driver'slog issues an appeal to Pakistani readers to write in on matters motoring. How much does fuel cost, are our mechanics smarter at exchanging parts than theirs, how about the fake components market?

Why are we getting so many complaints about the Tata Indica from owners lately? We refrain from putting them up because we wanted to double check their authenticity (vee haf our vays of doing zees zings, ve haf zee gestapoo all over you!) but results are beginning to come in: something stinks under the bonnet and often it is the alternator belt. This is breaking down every 5000 odd kilometres or so, we are informed, and can cause serious accidents as it causes the brakes to fail.

The Indica was promoted as the great Indian car. From Telco. Unfortunately it came with baggage. Known as arrogance. It is not as though we Indians can not make a quality product, we make fairly decent software and have neat web ideas, for example. We just seem to have lousy people on top. Our industry delights in blaming the politicians and system for India's ills.

And they can't even make a half-way decent car or bus.

This is the company whose Director once refused to give me an interview on tv. He didn't want to be misquoted.

Telco double bill tonight. As I sit in a hotel room in their town, Pune, I catch this tv ad from the corner of my eye. A Tata Safari takes an unbelievable dive into a stream while a parrot, probably representing Ulka their ad agency in a symbolic gesture, looks on and caws approvingly. The Safari then ploughs through this stream at an unbelievable rate of knots. All great and fine, full of splash and wonder, but there is a major blunder.

Look closely at the hubcaps. Go slow, play, rewind, frame by frame. Is it the same car throughout? Or did it change during the shooting?

Do manufacturers really think the potential customer is dumb? Surely, Telco hands down on dumb ad for the issue award. Maybe they should spend their ad budget on improving the product? Money better used . . .

And the grand finale for maybe the last driver'slog of the era, month, year, century etcetc. In the first ever multi-modal test conducted by anybody ever anywhere, we put three people from VT, Mumbai to Shivaji Nagar, Pune, by road, rail and air. Starting at 4pm from CST (VT), times taken were :-

train : Pragati Express: 4 hours 5 minutes
car : Maruti Zen, hard and fast driving with dock permit to expedite: 5 hours and 20 minutes.
air : Jet Airways, no fault of theirs, 6 hours 40 minutes. (Missed the flight due to traffic jam in Mumbai . . .)

Shape of things to come??

Happy New Year and all that jazz. We got to work, how about you? Who are all these guys who party all the time, anyways?

Rock on, regardless . .

Can't give up this chance for our mabo No. 5, little bit more? The good news is an e-mail received from a very senior chief executive in a huge MNC making automobiles with a small presence in India. Keep up the good work, it says, we get an unbiased view. Only from you.

Nothing has been a better way to end the day. We know you the customer think we are unbiased. Now the big bosses in the world out there think so, too. Way to go . . . we must be doing something right, right?

Drivers Log
Veeresh Malik
The Edit Team
bluepencil@cybersteering.com

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