| A
LIGHTER LOOK AT INDIAN RALLYING
by Niaz Ali from Downunder |
 We
have all read the glossy magazines, which have a small section somewhere
where they cover a current rally, and have seen the pictures of red
cars and yellow cars, again, again, and again. Unless you are a hardcore
rally fan you probably would think that the same cars are being used,
you probably think that they are just an ordinary Esteem, being driven
by some young gun who thinks he can drive fast.
Wait, stop, think again. I know you've seen all those silly pics that
show a crowd of silly men in yellow or red shirts in yellow or red caps
leaning on yellow or red cars.
Look at my picture of the "Team MRF" and the "TEAM JK" cars in battle,
then believe in what I say when I say it is a battle out there this
is "War" . I mean War with a capital "W". The weapons are Cars, The
ammunition - Technology, The soilders - Drivers and Navigators, The
Armys- the service crews. The generals are there too, and the sides
they represent, they have their own flags, and they dont give each other
a chance, no prisoners taken, no orders refused.
A couple of years ago I was privelaged enough to meet some of the people
involved in this WW3 and here are my views on the gallant men and women
who fight for the cause of motor rallying. Please note my "Ungleeing"
(Hindi word for finger). As this will definitely give you the upper
edge if you ever go into battle with them.
HARI SINGH: Team JK
This man is Manfred von Richtofen of the JK team, and ace at what he
does; very ,very fast, and has a great sense of humour; blames all his
crashes on 'metal fatigue'; he is four times National Rally champion
which is a no mean feat.
He told me a joke once - "What is the simalarity between a Sardarji
and a Donkey---- they are both sweet when they are young and both go
into the 'transport' line when they grow up"... hey hey , before any
one says anything - that was told to me by Hari, and I'm married into
a Sardarji family... Hari is in the transport line - only he drives
Rally cars.
'Unglee' factor........ tell him that you
can drink him under the table anytime.
G.S.Mann: Team JK
Affectionately known as 'Bittu' - this is Hari's Navigator, obviously
a brave man, this man to the best of my knowledge cultivates mushrooms
in Punjab; is a great cook and can whip up an Allu Masala at the drop
of a hat or turban, doesnt drink as much as Hari; also believes that
every time Hari crashes it is 'Metal fatigue'.
'Unglee' Factor: Tell him that he has to
navigate Manik Raikhees car at the next event. (refer to Manik Raikhee
section to understand why).
Vicky Chandok: Team JK
This is the General. He is the man who masterminds the building of the
cars; he selects the weponary that is to be installed; no one thanks
him for the well built cars, but he is the one to get crusified if the
cars don't perform.
He occasionally drives just to let the young guns know that he can still
drive; loves a Black Lable, and can't remember when he had his last
romantic evening; continously disturbed by the rest of the team and
solving everyones problems.
Nominate him for the next Prime minister of India.
'Unglee' Factor.....Hide his mobile phones,
Narin kumar: Team MRF
This kid is good. When I met him he called me Uncle. I almost died;
when I introduced him to my wife he called her "Aunty". My wife thought
he was being rude, and I had to explain to her that it was a way of
showing respect. Anyway this kid drives very smoothly, and as the cars
get faster his talent will show even further. He just won his first
National Championship crown. I can't say I was surprised.
A very experienced Indian Racing personality compared his driving style
to mine. If that is true, I would recommend that he immediately explores
the prospect of an international driving career.
'Unglee'Factor..... tell him that Hari
has a better stage time than him by about 10 seconds.
Dicky Gill: Team MRF/JK/MRF/JK
This soldier can't explain why he is so fast. He is very skilful and
loves to beat Hari. They bet as to who will win the stage, and when
I was there, he sent Hari broke.
'Unglee' Factor...... tell him that he
just lost the stage to Hari and it was double or quits
Mohinder Lalwani: Team JK
Affectionately known as Chubi, a master engine builder who has been
around since Adam and Eve walked on the planet, takes great care to
prepare the best possible engine with all the stealth masala that he
can muster. Night blind he can't understand why all these kids stay
up late and drink or what ever, likes to be in bed by ten thirty . His
greatest pleasure is if you fall asleep while he is driving. This means
you trust his driving. If you read this article and then decide to pay
him a compliment by falling asleep in his car after that party on the
way home, remember that he is also night blind.
'Unglee' factor.... tell him that the reds
have found another ten horsepower in their engines.
Leela Krishnan: Team MRF
This is the fat boy of Indian rallying, he has also won the National
title, so he obviously can drive. He is the General and the soldier
of the MRF team, I believe this has changed a bit since I last met him.
He almost died in Mercara while testing a Gypsy and crashed into a bus;
he travels the world looking for that elusive part that will let his
troops crawl all over the little yellow cars. I'm sure he has nightmares
in yellow, and believes that the Red army is his defence against the
little yellow devils.
Vivek Punnosawami: Team JK
No one knows this but Vivek is without doubt, the most travelled navigator
in India . He is as professional as they get, inside the car; outside
he is very moody, and very passionate about his sport. He has nerves
of steel , and is one of the few people who can tame Manik Raikhee(
later in this article). Developed an Australian accent while in Australia,
and there is a really good story about him , and it goes like this -
while navigating a well known Indian racing driver (rallying at the
time of this story) he was calling the notes in his Phoren Ozzi accent
... "RRooiigghhtt 5 into laeefftt 3,, then Stroooight oon for fooive
hundredn, then doouuble caautioon oonn to bridge," - at this point the
driver lost control of the car and was heading straight for the river,
the accent was dropped and " whatrudooingisaiddoublecaution" flowed
out in local Tamil.
So you think I'm lying, ask any Jk team member and if he dosent crack
up send me an e-mail.
'Unglee' factor.......Tell him that Richard
Burns is looking for an Indian navigator.
C K Chinappa: Team JK
This man is the oldest man alive who fought in ww2, he has about twenty
eight years in the sport, an absoute legend on motorcycles, it is rumoured
that he had to buy a second house to store his Trophys. I am in full
admiration of his spirit and his enthusiasm to still compete, he navigates
in the team for different drivers, he has had more rolls in the last
few years , than in all his career, he is also very brave and deserves
the Victoria cross for sitting in the hot seat with Manik Raikhee(later
later) affectionately known as Chinny, one of my old friends. One whisky
for me buddy.
Tony Rodricks: Team MRF
This is the Leader, the bossman, Hitler, Stalin,Churchill, call him
whatever you want , when he says ''JUMP" the reds say ''How High". He
only wants results and if he dosent get them then the boys are whipped.
"I dont want to see any of you socialising with those scummy yellow
devils". Actually he is a good bloke but he hates Phoren drivers with
a venom, so he just wont give me a drive - "bugger" .
His duty is to make tyres sell and I don't blame him for some of the
hardlines he takes. he believes that since the sunrise is red and the
sunset is red, then there must be no place in this planet for anything
yellow.
'Unglee' factor.... tell him that you just
heard that the yellows were getting an Overseas driver to drive for
them.
Sanjay Sharma: Team JK
This is the other Bossman, but he is docile and laughs a lot, he is
a rally enthusiast and loves to go to all the events and use the twoway
radio, and say Vicky vicky vicky, this is Hardy hardy hardy - before
I forget, he is affectionately known as Hardy- why?? i havent a clue.
He is fat , but not like that Hardy, so maybe someone can tell us why.
He is the blue eyed wonder of his company as he did the impossible,
break MRF'S hold on the motorsport in India. I can tell you at one time
it did seem impossible. I think he has competed himself in some mountain
events, but i think his service truck beat the rally vehicle he was
driving, id love to hear that story again.
'Unglee' factor........ Tell him that a
certain Coimbatore official was looking for him to abuse him!!!!!
Jagat and Anita Nanjappa: TEAM MRF
These two have been Rallying even before the dinasours roamed the hills
of Ooty, they live near Mercara which I must say is really a very beautiful
part of India. It is rumoured that they dont invite you to their house
because there is not enough room left to sit in. The walls and ceilings
are covered with motor sport trophys that these two have won together
as a husband and wife team. Nothing stops these two on the road, and
this page is not big enough to tell all the wonderful stories they have
to tell of their experiences. These two must write a book . I bet it
will be a best seller among all who love their motorsport. Most of their
motorsport has been done on two wheels, and now (thank god) they have
finally changed to a more sensible four wheel form.
'Unglee' factor I'm not sure about Anita, but tell Jagat that he dosnt
build the best bikes.
Karamjit Singh: Team JK
Malaysia's top driver who came to India and found that there were a
lot of drivers in India who can drive like him, He also comes to Australia
and gets mistaken for Hari singh, he is obviously good but must have
got a surprise when young Narin started taking time off him in stages.
I havnt met him personally so I'll leave the 'Unglee' section till I
meet him sometime
Navaz Bathena: Team MRF
A really fast Chick this one , and I'm talking about the Driving, when
i met her two years ago I couldnt believe that she was not driving for
one of the two big teams, I'm glad to see that she now has been given
a drive in MRF.
Well done Tony for spotting the only lady in India with great talent,
daughter of the Legendry Darius and Katie Bathena, who won a car (Fiat
) in some competition before the first world war, and then ended up
racing it for many years to come. Darius also built a Formula Indian
that was an absolute screamer, the 'Black beauty", but I'm drifting
off the subject. Navaz - this sexy, lean, mean fighting machine takes
the fight up to the boys and is rumoured to be a tarmac master, I believe
she gave the boys a hiding at one of the 'Popular Rallys'.
She is also a very good Journalist who writes about the sport.
'Unglee' Factor.......... Tell her that
the room that you are sitting in belongs to Vivek Punnoswami
Nikhil Taneja: Team Jk
Nikhil is the most die hard competitor I have ever seen , he is very
fast and scary, he loves to practice just before an event and is very
finiky about the adjustments done to his car, he loves to drink water
in the middle of a stage , I think someone showed him a touring car
video so now he has a water bottle fitted inside his car so that he
can have a quick swig as he goes around corners. He is the mecks nightmare
as they run when they see him coming. In the earlier years he use to
dye his hair in different colours to scare his opponents, but now he
just drinks from his water bottle.
'Unglee' Factor...... tell him your car
is faster than his the night before the rally.
MANIK RAIKHEE: TEAM JK
You always leave the best for last, so here is Manik, affectionately
known as Maniac, but seriously this is the cute kid of motorsport in
India , he certainly has the guts, and the determination but he cant
understand why a car rolls when you go around a corner fast. He loves
to use the left foot on the brake and slide the car, hey maybe thats
why the car rolls, I dont know anyone in all my years of motorsport
who has rolled as many cars as him. This is Mr. Rollercar. He loves
a dish called Chicken 65, I shared this with him at a small restuarant
in Mercara; he also showed me a picture of a most beautiful girl who
he said was his true love, wow Manik you are a lucky man. He hates Vivek
- his navigator because if Manik drives fast Vivek stops calling the
notes. Vivek also looses his Ozzie accent when he navigates for Manik.
Any guesses why. Manik and Vivek once went out to set the trip meter
before an event and ended up rolling the car. This is a true story.
'Unglee'factor............would you like
a kebab....Roll
HASTALLAVISTABABYILLBEBAAK |
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