The Bullet: Mysteries & Myths -
Don't just love but get to know your bullet more - by B. R. Gurunandan


Zen & the info for Bullet maintenance: Part 1 - The Zen...

"Right maintenance is whatever gives peace of mind to the rider"

Or something close to it is what Robert Pirsig says in his classic, "Zen & the art of motorcycle maintenance". This is as good a time as any to acknowledge that this series and my attitude as a whole is highly influenced by this book. You may be tempted to give this part the miss, esply when I say (now:) that this part is totally non-technical, and hardly ever refers to the Bullet. I hasten to add: DON'T! I feel this part is perhaps the most important one in this serial.
If you grasp the essence of this one, the rest is but a catalyst.
If you don't, the rest may only get you into trouble!!!
(Of course, it's best to read Pirsig's book, but it is 350 pages!)

Restart. The quote seems rather heavy or downright unswallowable to us experts on NDT, mouthing terms like MTBF, preventive/predictive/productive maintenance, etc without flinching ! I mean, it's startling to see maintenance as a subjective thing! The whole idea was to have a bike that never breaks down, and works well.
It is sobering to realise that, technically speaking, there is no such thing as a "break-down-proof" ANYTHING, no matter how much time/money you spend (Chernobyll? Apollo13? Titanic?...) and "works well" is even more subjective! You might be happy if the bike starts easily, shifts neatly, and accelerates niftily. The farmer or the tourer or the racer would have drastically different requirements. And drastically different maintenance schedules.
Q.E.D ?
I know it looks like I am playing with words. But I am only trying to drive home a VERY important point: There is no one and only correct formula in maintenance. What works for your friend may not work for you. In fact, always assume that it won't. No, I don't mean don't listen to him, but I do mean don't follow him blindly. No doubt you have often come across contradictory opinions about a product/mod/mechanic. Well, both could be right! It depends on their requirements, which must be different. You will see many examples of this as we go along. So remember this whenever you are tempted to take a shortcut by just doing what someone else has. The results may be disappointing for you! It may sound tedious, but it is really a simple thing to analyse and question everything before you spend time and money on doing it.
Unless, of course, your peace of mind is NOT affected by small estimates becoming BIG bills, problems becoming chronic,...!!! But if it were so, you would not be reading this serial at all :-)

So if you have accepted all that, let us get practical.

Don't underestimate the job, or it's nature.
Seeing the illiterate mechanics usually getting it right, you may feel you could do it without much mental effort. Beware! Remember that they have learnt by muffing up dozens of cases, and still are probably either playing safe by replacing many OK parts at your expense, or taking risks, again at your expense, to wind up the job fast. To do the job right, is NOT a "mechanical" process. It needs your eyes AND mind to be working to FULL ability. And sometimes hands also, Somewhat ;-)

Don't be overawed either.
Many things in life are like the "back-kick" of the Bullet! Remember, it gets the timid but doesn't hinder a real determined attempt? Well, Bullet repair is also like that. If you approach it right, with confidence and with determination to do whatever it takes to succeed, you are GOING to succeed. There's NO two ways about it.

Don't jump to conclusions.
Many symptoms have more than one possible cause. Don't jump to a conclusion too fast, or else you may find yourself barking up the wrong tree and mentally block yourself from seeing the right one -because you have to first admit you were wrong, which no-one likes! --Ya, ;-) Freud is my middle name!!!-- You have only one bike to repair, unlike the mechanics; but it is you who feel the pinch of wrong diagnosis, not him, so take the trouble of doing it right, without wild guesses.
Make it a habit to recall all possibilities, narrow down on basis of symptoms observed, think of the diagnostic tests that would help to narrow down further, think of the sequence which would would involve least effort, cost and time.
And only then roll up your sleeves.
Or even take the bike to a mechanic. But don't be all amazement & admiration when he is ripping it open. Get an explaination for the deviations he takes from the "algorithm" you had devised. It will be educative. Either you will learn something new, or the mechanic will learn that you are not a "bakra". (easy meat; like sitting duck) If he won't discuss the matter with you, you need a different mechanic.

Don't get disheartened when things go wrong.
It is not easy to be cheerful when your Bullet refuses to start, or makes some awful noises, or runs like a sick dog, but becoming dejected is not going to help at all! Infact, it is positively going to hinder your "objectivity". Hadn't you heard that doctors never operate on their own relatives ? Same reason ! Logic gets shadowed by hope (that it is something simple) and you are liable to make mistakes. Now, even the most avid Bullet-eer is MUCH more attached to his parents/sibling/children than his Bullet, and the Bullet can survive MANY mistakes (Ask me how I know!) so you can easily bridge this pitfall.
Just don't start working when you are upset. Wait till your emotions are totally drained.
The other extreme is possible too, -pessimistically ignoring the simple possibilities and accepting that it must be something serious! Balance is the key!

Don't get disheartened when you make a mistake.
Let's be frank. No matter how great you are, and no matter how simple the job, sometimes you are going to bungle it. Everybody does that once in a while, but the mechanics never tell you. They just bill you for it. More than expertise, their reputation rests on their convincing ability. But you cannot fool yourself! So it will appear that you are making more mistakes than the illiterate mechanics, but it is not so. Don't kick yourself; not on-the-job, atleast! Regret is a wasteful emotion, an unaffordable luxury, which "reduces the bandwidth" of your thinking, and then you make a BIG mistake!

Don't rush yourself.
Remember not to compare the time you took with that the mechanic used to take! For one thing, he does it much more often, and will be faster; but he also takes many shortcuts that you may not want to. But if you add the time you took to go there, wait and collect the bike, you may not be too far behind. I labour this point for a good reason! "Haste makes waste"! If your mind is on the time, you are going to miss out observing some small clues, or forget some small spring/washer/gasket etc, and have to dismantle again! Aaarrgh!

Don't discuss with non-sympathetic, non-techies, or snooties.
You will have no dearth of people saying "Didn't you know better than to mess with Bullets!" when you are in the midst of your scientific but greasy adventures. The motive could be anything from "lobster-tech" to "don't ask for my help"; don't argue, just avoid discussions with these jokers, once identified. You have no bandwidth to spare, no time to waste.

If you found too much of the above totally unpallatable, and you have
a) never tried repairing your bike, please continue to leave it to the mechanic !
b) NEVER failed to get your bike going fine, I want to hear YOUR theory !!!